Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock 
Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring 
Snowing and blowing up bushels of fun 
Now the jingle hop has begun

Have you ever felt like a jingle bell, not jingling, but jittering all the way? Your head, like that small round ball captured in a bigger metal sphere?

Two years ago at Christmas time, my husband’s mother died unexpectedly two weeks before Christmas and a week later my mom passed away without warning. Now, as I think about the holidays, I get that nervous feeling wondering what emotions I’m going to have to deal with again. Of course I still put all those seasonal expectations on myself.

In this article, I will explore new meanings to some of the most familiar Christmas songs. Some are reminders of the good things of the holidays, but others point to some of the sorrows of the season. I also throw in a few hints on handling some of the other traditional holiday hassles.

We need a Little Christmas – Right this Very Minute

For we need a little music, 
Need a little laughter, 
Need a little singing, 
Ringing through the rafter, 
And a little snappy 
Happy ever after, 
Need a little Christmas now.

Sometimes we demand of ourselves that we NEED to do everything to make a Merry Christmas. We need to make people laugh. We want our homes to be full of fun and singing. We need to pretend that everything is okay. But sometimes the needs of Christmas become a little overwhelming. What if Mom isn’t around to bring rolls and butter for Christmas dinner or to make her Kolatch?

Is it okay to allow myself to explore some of the great stores that sell yummy pastries? Can I really make new holiday traditions?

Yes, we can…if we are kind and gentle with ourselves.

Christmas is supposed to bring all good things “a little snappy happy ever after.” Instead we are plagued by worries about money, finding the perfect gift, and of course, who to spend the holidays with. I tell myself: Don’t set your expectations too high. No matter what you do, it is unlikely to be a happy ever after. Let yourself be realistic in your expectations. You can only do what you can do. You can’t MAKE anyone “Have a Merry Christmas.”

Santa Baby

Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, 
For me. 
been an awful good girl, 
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

This happy little tune can drive us mad. Some of us who are older remember that Christmas season used to start on Thanksgiving Day when Santa came to town. Now it’s the day after Halloween and retail stores are competing to see who can be the first to have a visit from Santa. It can be very easy to get caught up in the materialism of Christmas and the despair when you can’t slip that something special under the tree. Or we don’t have someone special to buy for.

Remember that Christmas is supposed to be about relationships. Old ones and new ones. Why not think about making a new Christmas memory?

Kids remember the fun, the close times, being together, more than they remember the brand of toy under the tree. Quick! Tell me what you got for your ninth Christmas. Now tell me your first memory of Christmas. Mine was my mother holding me up to look out the window at the beautiful white, sparking snow.

Think back. Quick! What is your favorite Christmas memory?

Put one Foot in Front of the Other

Put one foot in front of the other 
And soon you’ll be walking cross the floor 
Put one foot in front of the other 
And soon you’ll be walking out the door.

What an unusual song to be called a Christmas song. Actually it appeared in the animated movie Frosty the Snowman. For me it speaks of a common Holidays problem, depression. Sometimes I find it hard to just “put one foot in front of the other.” Sometimes that is all I can do and it is enough.

Other people may tell us to “let it go” and “just get over it.” I say cherish it. It is okay to feel sad and happy all at the same time. However if your sad becomes an un-shakable blue feeling that is overwhelming, causes changes in your eating and sleeping patterns, and thoughts of suicide, it’s time to see a mental health professional.

Please Come Home for Christmas

Then will you tell me, you’ll never more roam; 
Christmas and New Year will find you home; 
There’ll be no more sorrow; 
No grief or pain; 
‘Cause I’ll be happy that it’s Christmas once again

Sometimes the tinkle of the jingle bell, the tinsel on the tree only remind us of a loved one who is no longer here. I think about all the children killed in Connecticut. Presents hidden away under beds and in closets that now will only bring tears rather than smiles of joy. For those of us who have lost loved ones, the Holidays can be hard times.

Let’s celebrate the people who are missing. Tell stories about their lives, about Christmas Times before. Allow the tears. They are God’s way of helping us to heal. Seek out other people. Especially if it is the first Christmas you are celebrating without a special person, it is good to be around other people. . . even if you don’t feel like it (which I didn’t). Look more to comfort than to be comforted.

Auld Lang Syne

Should auld acquaintance be forgot 
and never brought to mind? 
Should auld acquaintance be forgot 
and days of Auld Lang Syne.

Auld Lang Syne has traditionally been sung as a farewell. We sing it at the end of a passing year. Sometimes it is sung when we say good-bye to a loved one. We say good bye often and in many different ways.

If you are of the Christian faith, you may find comfort in knowing that the person you love is safe in the arms of Jesus. For others saying farewell can be the beginning of a searching for personal meaning. That search can become all the more touching during the Holidays. If you like, seek out a church near you that is holding a special Christmas worship service. Let the holiness of the night comfort you.

Let me suggest that we also look at Auld Lang Syne as an invitation to say good-bye to some of the things that we didn’t do this year. The “shoulds.” Should is the most guilt-producing word in the English language. It’s like a Poinsettia after the Holidays, you know, that little twig thing? As we bid a fond farewell to the past year and look forward with. . . dare I say it. . . anticipation, let’s wipe the slate clean and start with a list beginning with ”I would like to – - -“

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: 
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep; 
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail, 
With peace on earth, good will to men.”

When I looked for Christmas songs that really resounded with me when my moms died, I found surprisingly that Longfellow talks about despair and grief in this song. He’d recently lost is wife in an accidental fire. It was during the Civil War and he had also forbidden his son to join the fight. But one night, his son had slipped away, leaving a note that said that he was grieved to disobey his father, but he couldn’t disobey his conscience. He came back from the war severely injured after fighting bravely with the Union Army.

Longfellow heard the bells, probably not jingle bells, but in the same family. He reminds us in this song to consider the name Christ-mas. God is not dead. He is risen. I ask you to pledge with me to fight the wrong, prize the right, bring peace and healing as your gift this season and accept the good will of those you might overlook at any other time of year. Shall we honor our loved ones by singing their songs in our hearts?

Please post your favorite memory.

Citations

Jingle Bell Rock
Written by two advertising men in 1957
Joseph Beal and James Booth. Performed by Bobby Helm

We Need a Little Christmas – Right This Very Minute
Originally introduced in the Broadway musical “Mame”

Santa Baby
Recorded in 1953 by Eartha Kitt. Written by Joan Javits and Phillip Springer

Put One Foot in Front of the Other
Part of a medley with Santa Claus is Coming to Town in the animated movie Frosty the Snowman that aired on television in 1969

Please Come Home for Christmas
Written and performed by American Blues singer Charles Brown in 1960

Auld Lang Syne
Written by Robert Burns in 1788.

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day
Written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in 1863.

 

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