The Effects of Labeling Children
Labels are a useful tool to help us make sense of our world. We put labels on clothes, food, activities, buildings and a variety of other things. Labels are helpful, in part, due to the permanency of their designation. For example, once labeled, it is unlikely that a trashcan will become a trophy.
This helps us to find order and consistency in a complex world.
Labels are viewed as permanent
When it comes to the labeling of children, it is this potential of permanence that parents, teachers, and other adults need to be aware of. Whether it is a so called “good” or “bad” label, such designations have a tendency to pinhole a developing child into a role they may not be able to escape from. As a therapist who works with children, I find this particularly concerning as I am often required to provide a label in the form of a diagnosis so that children receive special services and the support that they need.
I was recently interviewed by a local radio station and asked if the negative labels that teachers, parents, and same-aged peers give children have lasting negative effects. At the time, my answer was yes. As I have pondered this question over the last few days, my answer has slightly changed. I wish I would have said that all kinds of labels both positive and negative, have the potential of stifling the growth of children and preventing them from reaching their ultimate potential as adults.
Children believe and internalize labels
Most people do not realize just how impressionable children really are.
The way they learn markedly different than the way adults learn. In many ways, they are more efficient learners. They seem to just soak things in. This is especially true for children who are between the ages of three and ten. Research has shown that children in this age category have brainwaves that resemble an adult under hypnosis. When you say something to these children it is accepted instantly without question. It becomes an introject (a person, object, or concept that becomes incorporated into one’s psyche) and is incorporated into the child’s basic beliefs about themselves and the world around them.
When children receive labels, whether negative or positive, they incorporate these labels into their belief system about themselves. They see themselves as the label. This is especially true when they are told few things to disprove or compete with the label. Once a label is accepted, children seek to confirm the label and are less likely to seek out evidence against it. For example, a child who is labeled a troublemaker may use the next few times they get into trouble as evidence to support the label and is less likely to look at all the good and/or nice things they are doing as evidence against the label.
Labels may limit a child’s development
Once a child has confirmed a label, they may struggle to seek out and explore other roles they could excel at. This is true even if the label they received is viewed as positive. For example, a young boy or girl who shows early abilities in coordination may start to excel at sports. He or she may receive the label of athlete or jock and then confirm and internalize this label. At first glance, being a gifted athlete may appear to be positive. But for the young boy or girl who internalizes a label that caries the power of permanent identification, the result may be the loss other great talents and becoming well-rounded. It is the permanence that a label suggests (“This is who I am”) that can hinder well-rounded optimal growth.
How can we help children without labels?
I am often asked, “If we shouldn’t label kids, how do we identify those in need of help and communicate that help?” My answer is that we should teach children that we all have strengths and weaknesses and part of learning is to identify and understand them and to use our strengths to help us overcome our weaknesses. Then the job of the adult becomes to build up and encourage the developing child’s strengths. Labels such as special needs, emotionally disturbed, and learning disabled are not particularly helpful. I often attempt to shield the children I work with in therapy from these and many other diagnostic labels. Funding sources have made them necessary, but they are not necessarily helpful for the child. We can also help children by being mindful of how we describe them and focus on more positive terms. For example, we could say a child is “spirited” rather than “hyper,” or “cautious” instead of “timid”.
Research into how adults talk to kids has also shown that talking about their internal attributes and effort goes much further in avoiding labels and encouraging development than praising them for the actual accomplishment in one potential area of talent. Praising a child for working hard or sticking with it will pay greater dividends across all areas of potential talent than praising them for winning a race or getting a good grade. A good example of praise from a parent would be to say “I am so proud of you for working so hard and sticking it out even when things get hard sometimes.” A child can take this type of praise with them into every context they are likely to encounter.
It is my hope that parents, teachers, and other adults will recognize and encourage the growth of a child’s effort and other internal attributes, as well as, being mindful to not label and thereby stifle such development and growth. I also hope that they will join me in helping those children who have already been given labels by giving them hope and tools to grow beyond the branding they have received.