All marriages go through periods of insecurity, changes and challenges. It's how you handle each challenge and face each change that decides whether you save your marriage or let it fail. Marriage is a total commitment to the success of a team over individual accomplishment. You must be able to face each challenge as a team from a unified front in order to find the path to happiness. If your marriage is experiencing a difficult time and you're not sure where to turn, here are some suggestions for how to save your marriage before it's too late.
It may be time to speak to a professional. Sometimes an objective source can put things in perspective that may be miscommunication between partners. You may be able to see the source of the problem more easily and focus more on finding a solution. Therapists can also give you advice on how to deal with problems day to day.
Stay solution oriented. All relationships face conflict, but it's not about who "wins" the argument. If you find yourself constantly trying to outdo your partner in an argument, take a step back and think about what you really want from this discussion. Is it about being right, or about solving a common problem?
Sometimes time apart can help you find a new outlook on your marriage. Taking a few days or even just a few hours to think about the goals you have for your relationship and writing them down can be helpful to finding solutions and a positive path for your marriage.
Write a gratitude list. Each day tell your spouse five things you are grateful for. From the tires on your vehicle to the way she comforts you after a hard day at the office, keeping positive thoughts in your head will help you focus on how much good is in your life and how much you have to be thankful for, rather than focusing on negative issues all the time.
Communicate. You don't need anything except some time alone with your spouse to begin building lines of communication. Let your spouse know what you are feeling, and what you need from him/her. Listening, even when you are facing a conflict, tells your spouse that his opinion is important to you and that you are focused on finding a solution. Most arguments can be diffused simply by listening and acknowledging your partners thoughts and emotions and by respecting their point of view without interrupting.
Spend time together. Set a day each week to spend alone together. Having a date night can be as simple as sending the kids to grandmas and watching a movie at home, or dressing up for a night on the town. Put the children to bed at night and share a conversation rather than watching television or doing laundry.
Stay 100 percent committed to your spouse. If you walk away from problems rather than investing in the relationship and time you've spent together, it's difficult for your spouse to see your commitment to the partnership. Marriage requires a lot of time and energy to make it work every day.
Remain flexible to the changing needs of the marriage. Not everything is going to happen according to plan, and accepting this before something happens can protect you and your relationship from disappointment.
Money is one of the most common sources of marital arguments so staying up to date on your expenditures and income limits can help both of you realize where you stand and where you need to go in the future.
No marriage is unsalvageable if both partners want it to work out. In the beginning your love and respect for each other was enough to get you through the first trying years, so refocusing your efforts and commitment level before it disappears is important and well worth the investment you've made in each other.
