На информационном ресурсе применяются рекомендательные технологии (информационные технологии предоставления информации на основе сбора, систематизации и анализа сведений, относящихся к предпочтениям пользователей сети "Интернет", находящихся на территории Российской Федерации)

Family Psychology

62 подписчика

Fashion Wars: Avoiding the battle over clothes

Does your day begin with your toddler insisting on wearing a tutu or superhero cape to school? Or your preschooler explaining that blue polka dot socks do go with her pink flower dress?

You're not alone. But before it becomes a battle where nobody wins let's consider whether the fashion choice really is inappropriate or something else.

Usually the biggest problem with our children's clothing choice is our own parental embarrassment. Other adults expect us to have our children "properly" dressed, and if they aren't, they judge us as incompetent parents.

Having our children learn to dress themselves, however, is an important life skill they just can't live without. And it's our job as parents to help them learn this skill.

Here are some ways to reduce the clothing conflict. 

  • Draw your lines and pick your battles carefully. Do we really care if our young children go to school with one white sock and one black sock because they "did it all by themselves?" Does it matter if school-age children wear all black and spike up their hair? Maybe, but most children are merely experimenting with self-expression, exerting independence, and expressing normal rebellion. Ultimately, most of us have to conform to societal expectations of appropriate clothing in order to be successful.
  • Determine what is inappropriate. Clothing that does not protect your child against the weather and clothing that is revealing would probably be considered inappropriate by most of us. What's too revealing? Do the twist, turn, and lean over test. If your child's undergarments show when they bend over or raise their hands up, their clothes may be too revealing.
  • Reserve the right to veto certain clothing. Even if you feel comfortable letting your children express themselves, let them know that you reserve the right to object to them wearing certain outfits.
  • Be consistent. Once you have set expectations, stick with them. Don't teach your child to outlast you. The worst of all worlds is to say, "I said 'no.' No. No. No. No. Alright, just this once."
  • Establish parent choice days. From the time your children are young, you can establish occasions when your child has to wear what you choose. These may be holidays, religious services, special ceremonies, or family gatherings.
  • Give your children choices. For infants and toddlers, the dressing part is not so much "the what" of clothing as "the how" of dressing. Children just don't want to get dressed sometimes, and that's especially true in the morning and when we're in a rush. For young children who are reluctant to get dressed in the morning, dress them for bed in comfortable sweats or short outfits, depending upon the season. In the morning, change your child's diaper, brush his or her hair, and go.
  • Plan ahead. For preschoolers, try selecting all the clothes for the week to avoid morning battles, or give your child two outfits to choose from when getting dressed. For especially independent dressers, remove any clothing that you're not willing to let your child wear from her closet. Make "I dressed myself today," stickers and let your child wear them on her outfit that she chose. Then everyone will know that your child's ensemble was your child's choice and not yours.
  • Shop together. For school-age children, shop together. Let your child know your expectations before you get to the store. For example, "We are not buying any belly shirts." Give your child a clothing budget for each shopping trip. With your assistance let him or her decide which clothing and shoes he or she wants.

 

Source

Картина дня

наверх