На информационном ресурсе применяются рекомендательные технологии (информационные технологии предоставления информации на основе сбора, систематизации и анализа сведений, относящихся к предпочтениям пользователей сети "Интернет", находящихся на территории Российской Федерации)

Family Psychology

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Are You a Yes-Parent?

If three of these sounds vaguely like you, it's likely that your children turn you into a yes-person quite easily.

  • At least one room in your home looks like a toy store.
  • At any given hour the couch doubles as a trampoline, a wrestling mat, a hiding place or arts and crafts center.
  • Your child wears his Halloween costume to school in February.
  • You're on a first-name basis with the workers at McDonald's.
  • Your child has everything her best friend has.
  • Your six-year-old stays up so late that he can fill you in on Jay Leno's monologue from the night before.
  • Your daughter's last birthday party was more elaborate than your wedding.
  • You have three dogs, two kittens, and a parakeet who all hang out around the fish tank.
  • You spend most Saturday evenings in the movie theatre parking lot waiting for your children and their friends.
  • You spend Sunday evenings writing history reports and crafting science projects you found out about during dinner.
  • The text messaging charges are bigger than your monthly cell phone fee.
  • Your child's band equipment takes up both parking spaces in the garage.
How did you score? Hmmm. It's probably time to take stock and learn to say no.
 

Park Your Guilt

Children say no without embarrassment, and they say it over and over. It's one of the smallest words in the dictionary, yet can be the hardest for adults to say out loud. We think of NO as negative, as having all kinds of harmful ramifications. It's a word you try to avoid because it sets your guilt-meter running especially where your children are concerned. You don't want to disappoint them or make them unhappy. 

At times it seems a child's needs involve you in different and demanding ways every waking minute. You have every right to say no to a child who asks to stay up later than you think healthy as you do to an adult child who seeks dollars to start a seemingly risky venture. Parenting is a forever proposition. You'll be saying no--or should be--for decades so park your guilt.

When you say yes to your children's every want and whim, you wind up being exhausted and cranky (read: short-tempered). You simply can't be a happy, effective parent if you always function on overload.

10 Tips to Get You Off the Yes-Treadmill

• Don't make a habit of putting your children's demands and wishes before yours. 
• Forget keeping up with the Jones (one reason many parents say yes). 
• Think about what's really involved (more drive time, more money, later bedtimes, the wrong crowd...) and if you can do it comfortably. 
• Children get over disappointment far better and faster than parents do. 
• Don't say yes to avoid confrontation. 
• Appropriate use of no teaches children important life lessons and skills such as how to argue, time management, and that you can't always have your way. 
• Saying NO helps instill your beliefs and values. 
• Remember, it is your parental right to say no. 
• As adults, your children will find something other than your refusals to fault you for. 
• They may even thank you one day for teaching them how to say no.

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