Several of the questions recently asked by readers included requests for more information on how to get babies to sleep longer. That's no surprise, since sleep deprivation is one of parenting's biggest challenges. We've had a few questions specifically about "sleep training" systems that often include claims that their use will result in getting babies to sleep through the night permanently.
We'd like to use this post to explain why we think that the use of "sleep training" (especially without understanding more about infant sleep) may be more likely to lead to frustration rather than a full night's sleep.
Younger Babies Need to Wake
As hard as it is to wake so often with newborns and young babies, the little ones must wake up frequently to feed, stay warm, and be healthy. Newborns dream far more than adults, so they stay in a lighter state of sleep for more of the night than their parents. Dreaming plays a part in the development of their brains and the light state of sleep makes sure that babies wake if they need to. Trying to "train" a newborn to sleep longer will not work and may even be harmful.
For the first 6 to 8 weeks, babies fall asleep dreaming and may continue dreaming for 15 or 30 minutes before they fall into deeper sleep. Parents can see their babies dreaming. Their eyes will move and their faces and bodies will twitch. Waiting until babies fall into a deeper sleep before putting them down can help them stay asleep. As babies get older, they will dream less and have longer stretches of deeper sleep but early on, they are going to wake frequently. That's why new parents need so much help at home.
Waking in Older Babies
By the time babies are 4 months old, they fall asleep into a deeper state of sleep and stay asleep longer. Bedtime routines that end in these older babies being slightly awake when put down for the night can help babies and parents get more rest. By the time babies are about 6 months old, most parents believe their babies should be sleeping through the night but many find that this doesn't happen consistently. Around this time, some babies start teething, catching colds, and traveling to see relatives. As the months go by, babies start to fear separation from their parents and develop motor drives that make them want to practice new skills in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, all of these things can result in waking.
Good Parenting and Sleeping Through the Night
We've noticed that parents whose babies sleep through the night sometimes are seen as the "good parents" who don't spoil their children versus parents who are still getting up as "indulgent" or "giving in" to their unreasonable babies. While parents do have a lot of influence on how much or how little their babies sleep, the truth is that babies wake up for lots of reasons, many of which are not under their parents' control. Some babies are very sensitive to changes in stimulation or the discomforts of teething. Others are driven to practice crawling and standing or are fearful of sounds in the dark. Efforts to get these babies to sleep through the night might work, but only for a short time. Now, I'm not trying to tell you that your baby will never sleep through the night! Babies do sleep! The problem is in the belief that you can force a baby to sleep the way you do.
Sleep "Training" versus Understanding Infant Sleep
Some of the sleep training methods require that babies be put in their cribs and left to cry for ever lengthening periods of time. This is very stressful for parents and babies. While these systems might work for a few nights, many parents find that they have to do the "training" over and over again. Bedtime becomes a battle for weeks on end until one day, the baby starts sleeping longer and parents congratulate themselves that the training finally worked. But the baby is also several weeks older and most older babies will sleep for long stretches if their parents don't interfere. From our perspective, understanding how infants sleep and why they wake can go a long way in helping parents cope with their babies' nighttime behavior.
Younger Babies Need to Wake
As hard as it is to wake so often with newborns and young babies, the little ones must wake up frequently to feed, stay warm, and be healthy. Newborns dream far more than adults, so they stay in a lighter state of sleep for more of the night than their parents. Dreaming plays a part in the development of their brains and the light state of sleep makes sure that babies wake if they need to. Trying to "train" a newborn to sleep longer will not work and may even be harmful.
For the first 6 to 8 weeks, babies fall asleep dreaming and may continue dreaming for 15 or 30 minutes before they fall into deeper sleep. Parents can see their babies dreaming. Their eyes will move and their faces and bodies will twitch. Waiting until babies fall into a deeper sleep before putting them down can help them stay asleep. As babies get older, they will dream less and have longer stretches of deeper sleep but early on, they are going to wake frequently. That's why new parents need so much help at home.
Waking in Older Babies
By the time babies are 4 months old, they fall asleep into a deeper state of sleep and stay asleep longer. Bedtime routines that end in these older babies being slightly awake when put down for the night can help babies and parents get more rest. By the time babies are about 6 months old, most parents believe their babies should be sleeping through the night but many find that this doesn't happen consistently. Around this time, some babies start teething, catching colds, and traveling to see relatives. As the months go by, babies start to fear separation from their parents and develop motor drives that make them want to practice new skills in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, all of these things can result in waking.
Good Parenting and Sleeping Through the Night
We've noticed that parents whose babies sleep through the night sometimes are seen as the "good parents" who don't spoil their children versus parents who are still getting up as "indulgent" or "giving in" to their unreasonable babies. While parents do have a lot of influence on how much or how little their babies sleep, the truth is that babies wake up for lots of reasons, many of which are not under their parents' control. Some babies are very sensitive to changes in stimulation or the discomforts of teething. Others are driven to practice crawling and standing or are fearful of sounds in the dark. Efforts to get these babies to sleep through the night might work, but only for a short time. Now, I'm not trying to tell you that your baby will never sleep through the night! Babies do sleep! The problem is in the belief that you can force a baby to sleep the way you do.
Sleep "Training" versus Understanding Infant Sleep
Some of the sleep training methods require that babies be put in their cribs and left to cry for ever lengthening periods of time. This is very stressful for parents and babies. While these systems might work for a few nights, many parents find that they have to do the "training" over and over again. Bedtime becomes a battle for weeks on end until one day, the baby starts sleeping longer and parents congratulate themselves that the training finally worked. But the baby is also several weeks older and most older babies will sleep for long stretches if their parents don't interfere. From our perspective, understanding how infants sleep and why they wake can go a long way in helping parents cope with their babies' nighttime behavior.